Pizza Horoscopes for November 2024
It's the beginning of November and seemed like a good time to guide your pizza spirit down the path to salvation!
Peppero (January 1st – February 22nd): “Is the sauce done yet?” You hear from the other room for the fifth time this evening. You add a little more salt and pepper. A sprinkle of your special seasoning. You take a little taste, letting every tastebud soak up the sauce. The tastebuds can’t agree. Is the sauce done yet? You stir some more. You hope. Again, from the other room the familiar refrain. You add some more salt and pepper. A sprinkle of your special seasoning. Is the sauce done yet?
Mozzini (February 23rd – May 9th): A pungent stench wafts through the air. What may spurn others excite your olfactory sense. You implore your friends and family that it’s okay, and actually the stinkier the cheese the better it is. But convincing others to jump over that hurdle is difficult. For you it’s a mere inch of the ground, but others may have to ascend a mountain. Don’t lose sight of the mission or your passion. They will join you, but their journey might take a little longer than yours did.
Dougheo (May 10th – July 4th): You poke the bucket of dough and it doesn’t spring back with the excitement you were hoping. You poke again and the divot persists. A perplexing creature. There are so many variables that could cause lazy, or at the very least lethargic, dough. The yeast might have gone bad, it could need more time. When we encounter the unknown sometimes you have to scrap what you made and start over. It’s nothing to be embarrassed about because to learn how to make good pizza you have to first learn how to make bad pizza.
Sicilaurus (July 5th – November 6th) The thickness of a sicilian pizza may seem daunting or impossible. Will your teeth survive the journey? How will you be able to digest the inches of dough? You’ve done this a million times before, but for some reason you’ve lost your faith in the process. Look back to the past when you would chew and eat with reckless abandon. Channel your past energy and passion, but don’t get caught lingering in the past for too long or you may forget to eat the pizza right in front of you.
Greasonis (November 7th – December 31st): When you’re walking down the sidewalk in a rush to catch a bus or your preferred mass transit option and you see a lonely piece of pizza laying on the ground, what do you do? Despite the rush, find the time to think about that slice. How did it get there? Who put it there? Does it miss the pizza it came from or was it trying to reunite with its family? While you can’t save every stranded slice of pizza, at least spend some time thinking about what could have been.
Thanks for reading! I hope your horoscopes guides you along your pizza path.
Thanks and pizza ya later!
-Dan Tallarico, Pizza Journalist