Bonds Forged in Molten Iron and Sauce

Me and some pals went down to Iron Born Pizza.

Pizza is ubiquitous because it fits into every aspect of our life. Breakfast, lunch and, famously, dinner. It is a chameleon that is there for us in happy moments and nurtures us when we’ve slipped down the slope of depression and need a soft, chewy, gooey landing. Coating our bodies inside and out with pizza protects us from life’s hazards and gives us the energy to carry on.

The Olive Pizza from Iron Born

To paraphrase a famous saying, “You’ll always get pizza in the end. If you don’t have pizza, then it’s not the end.” (Note: I have looked up the original quote and am stunned to find that John Lennon said this. I guess anyone really can say anything they want.)

All this to say, when a friend of mine found himself down in the dumps the group chat went wild - like starving college students finding out there’s free pizza in the dorm lobby. We quickly decided on one mission to cheer them up. The mission was to eat pizza.

Pizza is a panacea that cures us of any ailment. That statement isn’t FDA certified so, maybe it’s more of a placebo that lulls your mind into a sense of security. Your instincts relax thinking that if you are sitting at a table eating pizza you are one hundred percent in a safe place. A predator wouldn’t dare be within two square miles of edible pizza. That’s what humans have evolved to learn and (questionably) thrive on earth.

Now that we decided we wanted pizza we came to the impossible choice of finding where to eat pizza. After I unhelpfully tossed out fifteen suggestions someone said “Iron Born.” A single slice of their sharpened suggestion cut me down like they were a legendary wandering Ronin.

The Boys Go to Iron Born

The half and half from Iron Born

I had eaten Iron Born when they were at Smallman Galley, but it’s been a long time. I also never got a chance to visit their Strip District location so I was eager to see what was happening down at the pizzeria run by Pete Tolman.

Their location sits on Smallman Street in the old location of Car Hop Sub Shop which served huge, greasy, delicious slices. Iron Born is the polar opposite of that style of pizza. Is that pizza gentrification? No, I think it’s that Iron Born is the perfect pizza for Pittsburghers. It has more in common with Primanti’s than Mineo’s. In what ways? Here you go:

• Thick, soft bread is the first thing you bite into, cushioning your canines as your savor the complex tide pool of flavors.

• The pizza is big enough to host a potpourri of toppings. Absurd combinations and quantities that would snap any regular pizza like the Fernhollow Bridge.

• Can easily be eaten in one hand while driving a truck down 279.

The squares of Iron Born are sturdy. You could build a house with these that no wolf could blow ever. Not even a werewolf! Their sturdiness may make certain pizza enthusiasts weary of hosting a brick in their stomach. I too was concerned when my friend wanted to order three pizzas for three people. The density of those pizzas sitting on a table could cause a star to collapse. What would those cuts do to a sensitive stomach like my own. I feared I would become a pizza blackhole.

This must be the Spicy Pie, look at that rise.

Luckily their stiff exterior is merely an act. They are soft, chewy and doughy in the middle. The slices gently landed in my gut and I was happily able to consume a whole pie’s worth of pizza without any stomach pain or discomfort. Heck, between the Lambrusco and those airy slices I was practically floating towards a deadly fan like Grandpa Joe and Charlie after stealing a swig of Willy’s Fizzy Lifting Drink.

There is an extreme comfort in an Iron Born pizza. It will remind you of a pizza from your childhood. It will stoke the flames burning inside and warming your hearth. You will radiate after eating Iron Born which makes it the perfect pizza comfort food.

Iron Born offers Detroit Inspired rectangles made of soft, chewy dough and soothing sauce. Toppings span the spectrum of benign to extraordinary. You would mistake certain pizzas for decorations or absurd art pieces. But the entire pizza is a decadent edible creation. For the most part it works. The classics hit and pair perfectly with the pizza.

We were all eyeing up the Olive Pie. A red sauce pizza with marinated olives, ricotta, romano cheese and tangerine oil. The ricotta is lemony which added a sweetness to the pizza that did not mix well for me. After tasting that pairing I couldn’t dip back in. Luckily, we had two other pizzas that hit the mark.

The two sauce pie is a great introduction to Iron Born because you get red sauce and a creamy, delicious white sauce. It’s almost like a fettuccini. The sauce soaks into the squares so each bite is gushing with flavor. The Spicy Pie has most of favorite fixins and did not disappoint.

After hogging the table for far too long to eat these pizzas I’d say that the three of us emerged in a better condition than we entered. Shouldn’t that be the objective of any pizza shop? We shared stories, laughed away our cares. While we were focused on devouring this pizza the world outside that restaurant didn’t exist. It was us and those squares.

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Pizza ya later!

-Dan Tallarico, Pizza Journalist